Sunday, January 17, 2010

Merry me.

There are not many things in this world that I can say that I need. If you would have asked me for my Christmas list just once over the past two years, I can promise you that the one thing that I would beg for....on my hands and knees, is healthy kids.

Whole kids.

Kids who light up at all that is wonderful in this world.

Kids who can feel, and laugh, and smile and grow, and learn and dance and sing and......walk.

One thing that I do, and I will be the first to admit it, is minimize. I minimize my need, my hurt, my pain, my fear and mostly my anger. Not my anger in general (my husband can attest to that) but my anger over what has transpired within my family. Over the mutation that happened in my own child's DNA when he was supposed to be safe inside of me, growing into a perfectly whole little baby boy. The past two years have been filled with uncertainty, with pain, with overwhelming fear. Anger, uncertainty, and fear that Remy is breaking through, every single day.

This year, I got the best Christmas present that I could have ever imagined. I have a little boy who can tell me that he loves me.

Oh, and did I mention that he can walk?