Tuesday, November 10, 2009

The Lone Turd

So, I often think of my life as a movie. It is this thing I have always done. I used to always picture a worst case scenario, no matter where I was, and then figure out just what I would need to do to get out of it. I would decide what could be used as a weapon, what the quickest escape plan might be, who I should take out first.....etc. You may find it weird, I think it is normal.
Anyhow. I got to thinking, with as eventful as this life of mine is, I should start naming my days like movie titles. This concept started last week, when something really strange happened.
I was folding laundry on the couch, and Brodie and Matai were in the garage with their date "workin' on stuff". I had just bleached the bathroom floor in the boys bathroom, so Brodie ran in the house, and into my bathroom. No big deal. When you gotta go, you gotta go, right? A few minutes later, he ran back outside, and went on with his day. About 20 minutes later, he comes back in the house (I am still folding laundry, unfortunately. I do this thing where I wash like five loads, and don't fold them, so it takes forever. Whatever, that is neither here, nor there). So he runs past me and then he stops, turns around, and squats down to look at something on the ground right outside my bedroom.

"Whoa, mom, there is poop on the ground."

This doesn't sound good "What, where? How do you know it is poop?"

He says "Right by your door, and I know it is poop because it is brown and it looks a little wet." He is so gross.

I say "Well who's poop is it?"

"Not mine!" says Tai.

"It isn't mine either!" Screams Brodie.

"I don't care whose it isn't, I want to know who's it is."

Now I have to go out and get Matthew, because of course, he needs to see the poop too. He says the same thing. "Whose is that?" He gets the same response that I did, and we are no closer to figuring out whose poop it is. More disturbing than the fact that we don't know who's poop it is, is that fact that is actually poop, and it is not where it is supposed to be. It is on my living room floor.

It is just sitting there.

It is all alone.

On my floor.

Last Saturday has been titled.....The Lone Turd

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